The new year starts tomorrow! Many of us take this time to reflect on the year we have had and what we want to change in the year to come. “Resolutions” are a big thing, but this year I am approaching them differently. I wanted to share my thoughts with you in hopes, that it may help you as well.
Ok, hands up if you have ever made a new years resolution. Hands up if you have perfectly kept that resolution all year long….. Not as many hands this time I am sure.
Do your resolutions often sound like this- lose 40lbs by february, eat only healthy food and workout every day.
The problem can be two things get in the way. 1) you let the scale define success. The scale can’t tell you if you passed on that tempting treat, meditated more instead of losing your cool, loved your family fiercely etc. The scale can’t show you the important things in life. So why let it define your success for the year?
2) you expect perfection and when you fail, its all over. No one is perfect. We will all fail this year. The problem with black and white resolutions is, once you fail it feels like your off track and will never be able to begin again.
This year instead of resolutions, I am doing what I loosely term as “game plans”. Before you ask, no, they are not the same thing. I do have goals, I would love to lose weight, I would love to be fit, I would love to save money and develop better eating habits. These are all what I would term a “score” in the game I am playing. As we discussed however, all of these have the pitfalls of failure built in.
So here is what I am doing, to get to each of these goals, there are pretty clear steps. I need to drink more water, remember to take my pills, workout, meal prep, relax more etc.
So instead of focusing on my goals, I am going to focus on my steps. Now like any good game, I have the plays I need to make in order to score a goal. But, how can I play a game, if I don’t have the equipment? That is where the final piece comes in. I don’t have the willpower to pull this off myself and frankly I don’t have the brainpower to remember it all. What I do have, is a day planner and a phone.
I downloaded an app that reminds me to drink water. I set alarms on my calendar for workouts, to take my pills AND DESIGNATED RELAXATION TIME. That is right I scheduled relaxation. Otherwise I know I would never do it. I turned my day planner into a food tracker, menu planner and shopping list. In short, I gave myself the tools/ equipment to play the game. By doing all of this and focusing on the game plan instead of the goals, I set myself up to play a good game. When you play a good game your are guaranteed to score at least once. If I score and hit a goal (say losing some weight) at least once this year, that is a win for me.
Today and this week when you reflect on your goals, I encourage you to approach yourself with love and compassion. Take the “win or lose” mindset out of your resolutions. Look at what you need to do to play the game, give yourself the tools to play the game and above all else give yourself love and grace.
Have a blessed 2017